Happy Mother’s Day all!
I wasn’t sure how this post was going to come out as I am torn between reminiscing about past Mother’s days filled with sorrow and the positivity I feel most days now. Pleading in my mind for just a little eye contact and my son to say “MOM” or “I love you”. Sounds easy right? But hasn’t happened in the last six years. I’m still hopeful that it will happen. Morning snuggles with have to do (and they do) for this year.
Being a Mom is a hard job whether you have NT’s (neurotypical kids) or SN (special needs). Its messy. Often you work 24 hours a day with no break…often without a thank you. The job has (in my case) taken your girlish figure and messed with that great hair you used to have. You can deal with workplace violence and harassment from the Boss….and yet you still love. The Boss can be demanding and pile on the work, and yet you still show up with your punch card every day. Sometimes you want to tell the Boss to shove it, and sometimes you do…..BUT….. You love the Boss. You love your job. And you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I received a bonus today at work. I was served a wonderful breakfast in bed by a semi-naked waiter who just happened to be my daughter. My chef was my older daughter. Never in my life have I felt so special. Handmade cards and Justin Bieber wrapped gifts. Le sigh.
Despite the bumpy road we have travelled the past five or so years, I still love my job. I didn’t ask for this particular position, and yet I wouldn’t trade my SN child for a NT one. Yes, I’ll admit, I have sometimes wondered (and wished) what it would be like to have a NT child. How much easier would my life be? Probably tons. I’d likely have less gray hair (maybe?) and be able to take my whole family out to a restaurant to eat. Gasp. But the job satisfaction would be lower. When Timothy finally (thinking positively here) outgrows his diapers, I will have the biggest poop party Brantford has ever seen! When he says, “I love you Mom” it will mean the world to me. Yup. It makes me sad to think that Timothy wouldn’t make his funny sounds or expressions if he was “normal”. Without his funny quirks he wouldn’t be Timothy. I am prouder every day to call him my son. He wasn’t the son I imagined I would have that could play hockey or on a baseball team. But he IS a boy who is completely unique and these differences are what make him who he is.
Today, I love my job.